I've been home for nine days now and tomorrow I'm back to the truck. You would think I could catch up on all of the things that have been put off while being on the road. Nope. In fact I'm further behind because a whole new crop of issues have come up. I don't talk about my personal life here but I'll say that with a death in the family and some health issues that my wife is having to endure, my time off was not spent on recreation.

In the past I would almost feel relief to get back in the truck because the isolation and distance seemed to externalize all of the storms brewing on the home front. I felt justified neglecting things because, well, I had a job to do you know. I had to make money. Figuratively, I had to go out and kill something and drag it home.

One of the reasons I started driving was to isolate myself and regroup. I have concentrated on learning while driving, listening to many hours of books, podcasts and meditating on who I am and where I'm going. I have got some good ideas about what the next big thing for me will be. Driving allows for dreaming but not for laying out concrete plans. I mean, down on paper, action item plans. Plans that must be acted on. Hard to do when you are moving hundreds of miles every day and put on a shelf every night.

I wrote a couple of years ago about how this job will gauge your integrity. It angers you when you have so much responsibility but still get treated as if you are less worthy of respect and dignity than other people.  I can say that I have stronger character from driving a truck. I have learned that my dignity and worth come from my actions and attitude. It is my self, not others that determine the things that count.

I also know that I have a lot of room for improvement. In Genesis 2:18, The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man (VBob) to be alone." I added the (VBob) part. It was solitude and adventure that attracted me to drive a truck. Now I see my choice as selfish. I have been gone during some of the biggest life changing events my family has seen. Things that can't be excused. I don't blame Millis. They are very family oriented and will get you home and give you the time you need.

At any rate, like all drivers, I'll be back out there tomorrow. I'll be faced with all the frustrations while enjoying Gods creation in the spring of the year and accepting the challenges of the job. At least for now.